“I just want to know God’s will.”  “I just need some clarity.”  “I want to make sure I’m not missing God’s plan for me.”

Ever find yourself saying these things?  I know I have, many times.  Heck, I’m the king of “I just want to be in God’s will.”  In fact I’ve spent entire seasons of my life (sometimes lasting a year) trying to determine God’s will for me.

It can be a really unpleasant place to be, this position of in-between, uncertainty, and longing to know what to do next.  After all, we just want to make God happy right?

Although I can’t sit here and tell you exactly how God wants you to spend your life, I can tell you a few things that I’ve learned that will help you discover His plan without losing your mind in the process.

Learn to trust.  A cry for “clarity” is often an indication that we really don’t trust Him.  We want to see more clearly, but that’s because we don’t have faith that our lives are really in His hands.  Learn to accept uncertainty with grace and believe that He will not abandoned you to fumble around in the dark.

Do something. Sometimes we put the brakes on serving or committing to anything for fear that we won’t be available once we figure out what God’s will is.  Stop being so selfish!  There are bigger needs out there than the warm fuzzies you’re seeking.  Don’t you believe that God is big enough to move you on  when He’s ready to reveal His plan?  1st Peter 4:10 tells us to use our gifts to serve others.  To not be serving is to be out of God’s will, so serve.

Pray. To say that you’re “seeking God’s will” but to not be praying is simply lying about what you’re doing.  You’re just worrying about your future.  Seriously, there’s no single act that will bring you closer to discovering God’s will than praying.  In fact, God’s will is that you pray!  (1st Thessalonians 5:18)

Cultivate intimacy with the Father. In times when God is not offering you a plan or a map, He is offering you Himself.  Don’t mistake his silence for indifference.  It’s a call for intimacy and, in time, you’ll learn to cherish that quiet intimacy more than anything else.

God’s will is a call to become. At the end of the day, Father God is far more interested in who you are becoming than what you are doing.  Focus on becoming all that He created you to be and the doing will come naturally.  In fact, you may even find yourself stepping into His plan without even realizing it!

One last thing: God is not cruel.  He is not playing “find the plan” and deliberately making it hard on you.  He’s not high fiving the angels saying, “look at that idiot trying to find my will.”  His will is not a needle in a haystack that you have to find or God will be unhappy with you. He loves you and wants you to experience “life abundantly”.  He may even have several options for you to choose from.  He probably even wants you to have a wonderful time exploring them!

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Some of my friends have been asking, “Why were you at the neurosurgeon?”  “What’s going on with your back?” so I thought I’d give everyone a rundown of what’s happening, in an attempt to save myself from having to tell the same story over and over.

A high school injury, years of being hunched over a computer, and moving heavy furniture last November have all come together to form “The Perfect Storm” (Cue epic disaster movie music.)

It’s actually not so much of a storm as it is a herniated disc.  What is a herniated disk?  It’s when that soft, cushiony, cartilage-y thing (disc) that sits between two vertebrae gets squashed and bulges out.  In my case, it’s bulging into the spinal canal and putting pressure in the nerves running down my lower back and left leg.  It hurts, but I’m tough :-)

Last December, I started going to physical therapy and got prayer from anyone willing to lay hands on me.  I seemed to get some relief and bragged on Jesus to my physical therapist.  Then he sent me away and said I was good to go.  It only got worse after that.

The pain increased and traveled down my leg so I decided to find a chiropractor.  I started seeing Drs Andy and Trina Boswell in Rock Island.  They have proven to be massively caring and attentive.  They’ve seriously been a huge blessing in helping me navigate this issue.  I also made a few visits to Dr. Bob Kaminsky in Davenport who practices A.R.T. (Active Release Technique).  Experiencing A.R.T. is a lot like being tortured.  You sprawl out on a table while one person stretches you in uncomfortable positions and the other person digs his hands deep into the places on your body that hurt the worse.  You may find yourself wanting to scream obscenities, shout out to God, cry, or all three at once.  It’s painful, but brings results.

Eventually, my Family Practice Doctor sent me for an MRI (see below) so that we could get a definitive answer as to what was happening and why I wasn’t getting better.  THAT’S when we found out it was a herniated disc.

After seeing the MRI, my Family Practice Doctor sent me to see a neurosurgeon for a consultation.  I can’t say it was a great experience.  We waited for an hour and a half for about five minutes of his time.  He showed us the MRI, then shared my four options: do nothing and it might get better, take an oral steroid, get a localized steroid injection, or get surgery.  When I told him I wanted the least invasive treatment possible, he gave me a prescription for oral steroids, asked if I had any questions, and excused himself.  He had no advice for me, I didn’t get any answers, and I never took the steroids.

So, I’m taking the difficult route of doing nothing (medically).  I’ve set up a way to work while laying down (getting out of that desk chair has made a big difference).  I’m using an inversion table.  I’m taking a handful of herbal remedies and have adjusted my diet to include less inflammatory foods.  And I’ve also reduced my workout to just walking every day.

I have noticed improvements, but I still have a long way to go.  Thank you all so much for your prayers!  I can’t wait to wrestle you all when I’m better!!

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Below is a list of the iPhone apps I use most.  It’s not the sexiest list, but they’re full of real-world use.  Enjoy!

Daily Tracker – I use this app to track just about everything, from my personal devos to exercise and spending. It’s great for those who are trying to get more disciplined.

Dictionary.com – I like to know what words mean. Does that make me a nerd? Maybe, but at least I can look them up in style with a massively helpful app.

Dropbox – Sharing files among devices doesn’t get much easier. The cool thing about Dropbox is that you can read word processor files and pdfs without needing a seperate reader. I keep a few sermons in my Dropbox just in case.

Ego – I like to keep an eye on my clients’ (and my own) social media properties and this little app lets me do it all in one place.

Evernote – Because the best ideas come at the worst times, this app lets me jot down and organize mine while syncing them between devices. From sermons to blog posts, they usually start with an Evernote.

Facebook – If you’re not using this one, you’re either not on Facebook or you don’t have an iPhone/iPod Touch.

Google Search – This should come pre-installed. On almost a daily basis, I’ll do a quick voice search to answer whatever nagging question is on my mind, like “How old is Bob Barker?”

Hipstamatic – Rather than adding retro effects after the fact, this app turns your phone into a vintage toy camera. Swap out lenses and film types to get some massively cool effects. You can even order paper prints online.

Lose It – After years of trying to drop that last 10 lbs, Lose It helped me finally do it. Plug in your goals and it will give you a calorie allowance. Keep track and you’re on your way. I use it to maintain weight now.

MobileRSS Free – There are prettier RSS readers out there, but I like this one for it’s ability to sync with my Google Reader account. You can also Tweet or email your favorite posts.

Netflix – If you have Netflix, you HAVE to use this app. Stream anything from their instant library right to your phone. I’ve spent an embarrassing amount of nights watching episodes of MST3K while laying in bed.

Olive Tree Bible Reader – There are more popular Bible readers out there, but I like Olive Tree for it’s simplicity and ease of use. Also, you can purchase books so that you don’t have to be online to read them.

Pandora – Create a radio station that plays only your favorite music and listen for free. What’s there not to like? This is the kind of thing car stereo aux inputs were made for!

PolyTune – By far the best guitar tuner for the iPhone. If you’re a guitar player, you know how bad it stinks when you need a tuner and there’s not one to be found. Now you can always have one on you.

Skype – I have to spend LOTS of time on the phone, with many calls going well over an hour or two. Skype lets me talk away without using a single cell phone minute. A must have for keeping those mobile phone bills low.

Todo – Nothing really glamorous here. A task list app that syncs with my iCal task list.

TuneIn Radio – The absolute best radio app I’ve ever seen! Tune in to broadcast stations from all over the world AND online stations. Bookmark them for easy access. You can even record shows to listen to later.

Twittelator Pro – Hands down the best Twitter client I’ve ever used (and I’ve tried a LOT!) Upload to Twitpic/Twitvid, manage multiple accounts, follow lists, shrink urls, translate foreign tweets, and more.

WhitePages – Find people and business, get directions, etc. You can even do a reverse phone number lookup to see who called you, but didn’t leave a message.

Yelp – A great way to find restaurants, shops, etc. nearby. Read reviews to see what others think before going in. Also has a social media component for sharing your own opinions and experiences.

What are the iPhone/iPod touch apps you use most?  Share some of your favs in the comment section below!